therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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