I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
