I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
