I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
