Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
