Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
