bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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