thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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