Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
