You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
