I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
