when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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