I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
