Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
