ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
