Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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