Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
