That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
