She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
