I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm too high and old for this...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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