I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
