Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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