some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
