She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
