Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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