you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
