i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
