Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
