i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
