well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
