He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
