Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
