dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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