The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
