As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
