Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
