i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
