I'm eating all of the evidence.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
