Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
we should paint friendship bongs
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