Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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