I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
