at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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