My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
