Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
