Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
