"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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