I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
