phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
