i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
