I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
