I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
