i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
