I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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