he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
