I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
